another day

It was just another day yet another morning that started with a whip of sunshine in the room. The same thoughts that keep circling around in the still alive brain cells. The same people keep coming with the same words. Dont mind the same people but at times wonder if i can gather the courage to speak up to any one the way I feel. Some consider me too wayward ,some too coward(yes, its a strong word) to be able to live alone, some conisder me too crazy , some too irresponsible,some too good for my own good.All these interpretation are not wrong but I know there is more to it then just this. There is more of me that wants to come out but can never in fear of being "interpreted" . I know what lies in me is not wrong ,probably just that feeling is keeping me alive or may its just that false truth dragging me into abysmal pit. I may sound too dejected which I am but there is some hope of me coming back to life.I look back and at times feel probably I was never alive I have never lived a life that i wanted except for the short interval of a year in Chennai.There has always been dilemma , I have been trying to balance the boat but I could never before probably that how i can summarise my entire life.
Speaking about the day, it went on without any work being done in office. Every body says I am fine everyone has its own problems. The same curl of smoke rings, Spoke to parag he says he has moved on over her lost love. Jaat has to still reach for his,do not know why he holds it back .Harsh is feeling down today, I am sorry donot know how to motivate him but i guess he doesnt need me for that.
Is life that complicated , or it just that I am seeing it that way?
few months back these questions served as way to decipher the puzzle today they serve as the suction pump to the centre of the whirlpool.Life has changed I have changed .Just hoping in one of these thought will show the way.