self obituary

Living behind the walls of illusion or the truth thrust upon you..it does not matter. I am tired of waiting , being good , being bad I am tired of living the moment waiting for it to pass. And worse knowing the next moment can be heavier . I am tired of writing this blog ,speaking to myself , gazing at the computer screen , the sky blank or filled with the entire galaxy, trying to escape in the wielderness , or getting lost in the crowd tired of trying to MOVE ON tired of reading old mails tired of trying to smile with the memories . I am tired of living breathing I am tired of smoking, and " fresh air can do no good" of dreaming of waking up to reality sleeping with the dream. All this can just spoil my life but I know no other way to walk on. I am becoming a dead man with no ambitions ( as if I had one ..) nothing to look forward to ( as if I could see the furture..)and nothing to stand on in the present( as if the world rests under my feet ..). And all this is just a "requiem for a broken dream "each moment has become like a note a rhythm sung for the dead. All is remaining is to go 6 feet under the ground or burnt to ashes to finish the show. Till then the moments MOVE ON. and the "show must go on "